larping being an adult

facing my (not so) greatest fears...

when it comes to pushing myself out of my comfort zone, I'm not very good at it. my friends and family describe me as very sociable and outgoing, but deep down there are simply some things I cannot do without confidence or on my own.

recently, as I described in my last post, I moved to LA on my own. I'm starting my freshman year of college and have an entire week to myself before my boyfriend moves up and classes start. and because of that 'seemingly' large gap I have before I'm not alone, I've been struggling dearly to leave my apartment.

since it's boiling hot and I don't know the area, it's been difficult to find things to do and explore. my family and friends have been encouraging me to get out there, but as soon as I step outside I'm met with the wrath of a thousand suns.

today though, I decided to make a change to my routine. see, I have a big fear about doing things alone. I'm not sure if it stems from avoiding judgement, or general discomfort of being by myself; but either way I know it needs to change because the mindset simply isn't healthy.

so while I've been going out a little bit each day, today I decided instead of shopping for groceries and extra closet hangers I forgot; I'd be going to get lunch and go to the movies. sort of taking myself on a date.

I bought myself a ticket, found a place for lunch, and hit the road--of course not without calling my boyfriend in a panic.

I had been wanting to try a place called "cava," which is like chipotle but mediterranean and after today in my opinion much better. while it was quite pricey, I thought it would maybe be worth it to treat myself for putting in the effort to get out there. though, I will say it's been really weird these past few days because I've never gone so long without talking to people face-to-face.

once I finished at cava--which was delicious--I headed to the theater right across the way and found my seat.

I had never been to a movie by myself, it was strange. watching everyone else have somebody to watch a movie with made me feel lonely, but I know it's not a permanent thing.

I finished the film which was "the end of oak street," (not too shabby), then I went back to my apartment. I still have about 7 hours in the day before I sleep--or at least try to--but I do feel proud of myself for accomplishing something.

so maybe my trepidations are just a me thing, or you relate, but we all have something we struggle with. so if you get the chance to this week, do something new or something you're scared of. I promise you'll feel 10x better about it by the end.

ttyl!